Termination for Medical Reasons
Sabrina helps bereaved parents in the aftermath of a poor prenatal/maternal/perinatal diagnosis and the heartbreaking decision to terminate a wanted pregnancy (TFMR).
As a bereavement doula, she supports you as you navigate grief after baby loss. So you can learn to dance with grief and move in the world from the love you have for your child.
Visit Sabrina’s website: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/
Show Notes:
1:19 Sabrina’s introduction
TFMR- Termination for Medical Reasons
3:00 “That stigma exists in the pregnancy loss area as well; we’re not welcome in certain places.. We’ve had to create special spaces where our stories can be safe”
@tmfrdoula
7:11 “A lot of us come to this work through going through it ourselves”
7:15 Sabrina’s TFMR experience
7:59 “They didn’t get me, I didn’t fit in their box”
8:27 “I kinda feel like almost all abortions are a termination for medical reasons”
10:38 “What if we just held space for that sadness no matter who was coming in”
11:36 “I’m an alien and no one is seeing my alieness”
Trauma: too much, too fast, too soon
13:10 “Am I the only person who has had this experience because nobody talks about this kind of experience?”
13:53 “I just felt so alone, I felt so isolated. I felt like I was the crazy one.”
14:02 “I was a grieving mother, but no one else was seeing me as a grieving mother”
Facebook pages: Ending a Wanted Pregnancy, Terminations Remembered
14:50 “...know that I wasn’t alone. Know that I wasn’t crazy for wanting to honor and remember, and grieve my baby.”
15:48 “We all feel so alone… how do we change that?”
16:38 “It’s a lot of heart work; it’s a lot of remembering why we made the decision”
18:30 “It’s so patronizing and patriarchal, that stuff that we have to sign and read”
Systems that don’t serve the people
22:30 “Because of the laws the way they were we had to make a fast decision…” (not even enough time for additional testing)
Law influences what’s best for us and our families
25:15 “What we need is bereavement care”
25:44 “This is the trauma people are working through when they come to me”
Trauma informed therapy: EMDR, CBT… find the modality that works for you
27:11 “I work on the ceremonial ritual side… to honor the rite of passage you have gone through”
Honor and Release
28:55 “It’s not grief, it’s abortion regret… that is not my truth… I deserve care”
The gift of taking the journey
30:47 “We’re telling the whole story; I’m not holding it in”
33:12 “It’s just going to be part of the family conversation… another sibling whose not here”
You can do whatever you want
34:13 Rainbow babies. Pregnancy after loss. “It’s okay to be anxious”
It doesn’t have to be the same for every pregnancy
39:50 “hold space for our own trauma and anxiety and fears”
Shame spiral I send myself into
I’m gonna have this human experience of fear
The TFMR Support Sanctuary
Hyperemesis Gravidarum
Sabrina’s TFMR links and resources: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/links.html
