Date Night
Hubby and I have been together for over 20 years. Married 14. We're best friends and solid life partners. Romance has never been the core of our relationship, but we've got chemistry, commitment, and a whole lot of desire to grow old together.
Having this solid foundational friendship at the core of our relationship makes it really easy to carry on for months without ever scheduling a date night, but every once in a while I decide that we're due to do that thing couples do, and we brave the big adult world together without children. Truth be told, it's usually inspired by a gift certificate some kind and generous soul has gifted us.
Inevitably my introvert demons come out in full force and I get anxious about the entire thing. I'm not anxious about spending time with my man, but in all honesty I much prefer to be home, so even a date night with the love of my life, requires stepping out of my comfort zone.
The stepping out anxiety is always lifted as soon as we get in the car, but I tend to spend the hours before in a state of emotional and physical discomfort.
Tonight when I ran the model I felt a visceral shift to ease and excitement, after I re-aligned my thoughts. I suppose I could have done that hours prior, but better late than never.
Here's what it looked like:
"The Model"- a Brooke Castillo process, with an Amanda Kingsley twist...
SITUATION
- Date Night
THOUGHT ABOUT THE SITUATION
- "I don't want to go out. I would rather stay home and do the usual."
THE FEELING THIS THOUGHT TRIGGERS
- Guilt
THE ACTION TAKEN FROM THIS FEELING
- Mope around and feel anxious about going.
THE RESULT OF THIS ACTION
- Don't want to go out.
ASK (Is this in alignment with my WHY?)
-No
The Model applied for realignment:
SAME SITUATION
- Date Night
NEW THOUGHT ABOUT THE SAME SITUATION
- “Spending time with my husband bring our relationship closer together, and makes our marriage stronger."
THE NEW FEELING THIS THOUGHT TRIGGERS
- Excitment
THE NEW ACTION TAKEN FROM THIS FEELING
- Eager anticipation for date night.
THE RESULT
- Hubby love and a stronger marriage.
ASK (Is this in alignment with my WHY?)
-YES!
WIN!
We had an awesome time and the post date connection is tangible.
LOVE
Perfectly imperfect...
There's no one way to be in a relationship, but what matters most to us is that we show up. We hold space for the beauty and the ugly, and we don't sweat the small stuff.
It's not easy, but it's worth it!
How often do you date night?
