Fear of Judgement and Rejection After Abortion
This week’s guest is Life Coach School Life and Confidence Coach Savanna Schiavo. She works one-on-one with women and men all over the world to help them learn the skill of creating confidence so that they can create amazing businesses and lives, too.
Visit her website at: https://confidencewithsavanna.com/
Show Notes:
1:36 Savanna’s introduction- life and confidence coach
2:55 Fear of judgement and rejection in our community
4:25 When abortion gets stirred or bubbled back up, especially as an entrepreneur
5:25 “I think it’s important to understand why we have a fear of rejection”
5:40 “We do care what people think; we’re designed to care what people think.”
5:52 “A primitive fear of ours is being rejected… being ostracized by a pack literally meant death… that part of our brain is still with us”
6:36 “We’re programmed at a very young age to seek approval… it reminds us that we can depend on the people around us to survive”
8:31 “This is what a human being sometimes thinks”
10:10 We want to be careful with how “our brains run away with fear and rejection”
10:41 “Something to watch out for is the shame and rejection we create with our imaginations” when we scare ourselves with things that aren’t even on the table yet
11:18 “They think or they will think” exercise… “these are your thoughts that you are projecting onto others.” Is this true? Am I using this against myself?
14:25 “Recognizing that it’s not inherently true”
14:34 Loving What Is- Byron Katie
-Is it true?
-Can I absolutely know that it’s true?18:26 “Go to the place” “What if?” Keep answering the ‘what ifs’ all the way to the bottom
19:24 “We scare ourselves into paralysis”
22:08 “The answer to whether or not you’re afraid someone rejects you, or someone actually rejects you is self-confidence”
22:28 “The biggest pillar when you’re afraid to be rejected is self-confidence and having your own back”
22:53 “The world can reject you and you will still love you, you will still choose you even if someone else doesn’t”
23:03 “You can lean on you”
25:41 “Someone misunderstanding or judging us isn’t painful until it first meets our minds” and says “hey… this means something about you”
27:01 “Maybe this doesn’t mean something about me, it’s okay that my brain is making it mean something about me”
28:48 “I think that the fear of judgement, the fear of loss, is a fear of some pretty big feelings”
29:34 “We think the painful thing is going to be, we’re going to figure something out about ourselves: what if we’re not loveable, what if we’re not enough, what if we’re not good”
30:20 “All it really tells us is something about them, not us”
31:01 “We tend to give other people and their opinions a little more weight.”
31:29 “What opinion am I choosing for myself”
31:46 “Am I giving my power to their opinion?”
33:15 “The way we help ourselves through it is to help ourselves actually feel it”
33:59 “Can I make space for it, knowing that it’s finite”
34:48 “I’m gonna feel you, but you don’t get to have your hand on the steering wheel”
35:08 “You don’t have to hide, or downplay, or not be yourself”
36:31 “Giving people permission to be wrong about you”
38:03 “People are wrong about us all the time”
38:21 “Give them permission so you don’t have to hate or loathe other people and you don’t have to hate or loathe yourself”
39:52 A New Earth- Eckhart Tolle
40:22 “Talking to yourself, more than you listen to yourself”
41:26 confidencewithsavanna.com
