Having More Than One Abortion

Our guest today is Karen Thurston, who founded 2PlusAbortions. On her website you’ll find a multi-media collection of true stories of abortions. Their mission is to create a compassionate world for people who have abortions. She knows that every reproductive situation is complex, and every reproductive decision is worthy of understanding, respect and reverence.

In every episode of this podcast I read a blog post I’ve written and we follow up with a conversation about the topic at hand and what it means for women and their ability to thrive after abortion. Happy listening and as always feel free to send me your reflections and questions.

Our guest today is Karen Thurston, who founded 2PlusAbortions. On her website you'll find a multi-media collection of true stories of abortions. Their mission is to create a compassionate world for people who have abortions. She knows that every reproductive situation is complex, and every reproductive decision is worthy of understanding, respect and reverence.

Show notes: 

• 6:31
  What led Karen to this place.

• 7:26
  The Abortion Diary - One diary, countless stories

• 7:50
  Telling her husband and sons about her abortions after 17 years of marriage

• 8:29
  Navigating the internet to find resources

• 9:32
  Fear that her family might not love her if they knew

• 9:52
  “I didn’t really believe that I was a murderer, but I kept hearing that I was soI just figured everyone else would think that.””

• 10:39
  Why she decided to start sharing her story

• 13:39
  ”the shame… it feels like it’s part of my cellular make up”

• 13:46
  Karen’s 2 abortions at were at ages 13 & 19; she came out at age 50

• 14:45
  ”for the longest time I couldn’t even say the word abortion… it felt weaponized…”

• 16:26
  What she hears from older women over and over again

• 16:58
  ”let’s face it, our years of fertility are very long… 3 decades of fertility” and flawed birth control

• 17:44
  Her relationship now with religion

• 20:12
  ”I don’t believe in a higher power that is punishing” I believe in unconditional love

• 22:04
  ”When you trust in your own inner wisdom it’s the most beautiful feeling”

• 22:36
  The most critical problem girls and women are facing today

• 24:33
  The profound depth of reproductive experiences

• 25:47
  Messages of shame from the pro-choice movement

• 28:49
  Advice for mothers of sexually active teenagers

• 35:28
  Karen’t article about the importance of using the plural when talking about abortions

• 39:28
  ”Abortions are a vaild outcome of pregnancy”

• 42:16
  When contraception fails

• 45:42
  Share your 2plus abortion story
  

The post:

We didn’t find out the sex when I was pregnant with our first baby. There’s so few joy filled surprises left in life, and that was one I chose to hold sacred for all three of my full term pregnancies. 

When my first daughter was born I remember thinking, “Phew! I won’t have three boys.” I’ve been a mom at heart since I could hold a baby on my hip, and as long as I can remember I’ve had a strange irrational fear about having three boys. I can’t say where it came from, but two daughters later I still have it, which is proof of its absolute absurdity. 

After my abortion my 2 plus abortion fear kicked in. It felt oddly similar and as strong as my pregnancy fears. I was a dark light connecting my womb to my thinking brain. I was afraid to have sex, I didn’t trust my body, I couldn’t wait for my periods to come. One abortion I could handle, two would surely be the death of me. 

How could I walk back in the office again?How could I tell anyone?Where could I possibly find support?Could I ever trust myself or my body again?

Turns out that this fear, all these questions spinning in my brain, they weren't so irrational after all. This fear was learned.

My 2 plus abortion fear stunk of cultural stigma and habitual shame. It was learned from all the messaging around me, and thus it could be unlearned. Now, with commitment to my own wellbeing and to understanding the women all around me, I’ve completely overcome it. Pregnancy happens, and sometimes abortion is the outcome. 

Abortion is an intimately personal choice, and sometimes it’s a choice we make over and over again.

Decisions to have abortions are no more a public matter than are decisions to have children. Have one or ten; no one has a right to judge how you live your life. Someone else’s reaction to your reproductive wellbeing is a reflection of whatever they are feeling and healing in themselves. There are many reasons a woman may choose to have more than one child, and there are many reasons a woman may choose to have more than one abortion. 

Karen Thurston who runs the website 2 plus abortion .com

Sharing Truth.
Spreading Love.
Stopping Stigma.
Supporting people around the world who have abortions,
any reason,
any number.

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If you are one of the 1 in 4 women who have had an abortion in your lifetime,
and you are not thriving the way you desire: