Exploring Codependency and Abortion
Victoria coaches women and non-binary folks with codependent, perfectionist and people-pleasing thinking to stop feeling anxious and stuck so you can improve your relationships with your parents, partners and most importantly: with yourself using somatics or body and nervous system based coaching.
Learn more at: www.victoriaalbina.com
Show Notes:
Codependency is not a disease it’s a coping skill
“What a genius she was for developing this skill”
Constellation of experiences
“Emotional outsourcing is when we source our sense of safety, worth, and validation from everyone and everything in the world instead of from within” “Detached from self and focused outward”
“We learn that the world is not safe, our emotions are not safe, and we best shut them down”
Co-regulation toward ventral vagal, a safe and social part of the nervous system
Our nervous systems are constantly impacting the nervous systems around us
Co-regulating is when we help people calm down
Our nervous systems get their initial setting ages 0-7
“You need to attune to your kid around 30% of the time”
Dr.Becky- Good Inside
Mirror neurons- the monkey see monkey do part of our brain
“Humans are seeking two things and two this only: significance and connection, toward the end goal of safety”
Fawning…. Want to please others more than ourselves
What do we come in with as a family blueprint?
stress, distress, and trauma change our genetic make up
Energetic blueprints, soul contracts…
Three Cs- Compassion, Curiosity, Care
“Regret is optional… it doesn’t serve anyone”
“Regret is self-abandonment” “you’re disavowing the you you were when you made that decision”
“Choosing regret validates our story and keeps us from growing when growing is uncomfortable… feel easier to suffer the way you always have”
Lizard white- black or white
“... right now” leaves room for change
You can’t kiss the same girl twice.
“Your nervous system is the part of you that decides which thoughts are available to you.”
The place somatic work and thought work interplay
Mapping the nervous system
“Trauma is not what happened, it’s how you responded to it”
Somatic disconnection
“Spotlight on everyone else and not on us”
What do you want?
“Trust ourselves that we’re gonna come correct…. To be delicate and diplomatic”
“Be our kindest, most loving, gentlest self… firm directive… allow other humans to… experience it the way they are able to”
Resentment prevention- clean, clear boundaries
“Trauma is not what happened, it’s how your nervous system responded AND it’s whether you were able to release the energy that was created in your body in reaction to life, or not”
“The issues are in the tissues… until you can find a way to safely release it”
“I’m here with you; I’m here for you…”
“You’re safe in this one moment, this one present moment”
“We can’t shift our mindset if the soma is not in agreement”
You’re seen, I see you.
“Love is the answer to the question”
“What would the voice of love say to you?”
“Let that be your guiding north star? You can’t go wrong when love is the answer”
www.victoriaalbina.com/amanda
@victoriaalbinawellness
