Healing Self-Abandonment After Abortion
Maia joins us with personal story and reflective expertise. She’s a healer who helps people to know their gifts, trust themselves, own their missions, and to express the hell out of their true selves.
Learn more about Maia and her work at: https://www.maiawilde.com/
Show Notes:
0:42 My episode on Maia’s show
1:50 Maia’s intro “I am your audience”
This is how the revolution can potentially happen- women sharing story
Using our privilege to give back
7:20 “I do get very scared and I need to remind myself that I’m in a position to share…”
9:15 “I have two abortion stories… I think they are dramatically different”
11:02 “I went into freeze without being able to find my voice” “I knew I would get pregnant if I allowed him to continue”
13:02 “I always thought if I got pregnant I would have the baby and I would name her Cadence for the rhythm of life- that I would just trust that; and then I got pregnant and I knew I did not want to have a baby- there was this inner knowing of NO”
“I could not tell him”
17:55 “Let’s just tell the truth. I don’t want to have to shroud or cloak my reality in a story or a narrative to swallow it more easily… what I want to swallow is the truth”
19:29 “That little shift there of how we’ve been taught to lie to ourselves”
19:52 “those moments teach us to abandon ourselves and I believe that’s trauma”
20:51 “... communing with this baby… she was like ‘it’s okay’”
21:20 Spiritual awakening “wake me the fuck up”
22:28 “Honey, if we hadn’t given you a valium we’d have to peel you off the ceiling… they were so wonderful”
24:04 “wait wait wait, come back, she needs to see it”
24:37 “my only regret is that I didn’t take it with me; I didn’t take her with me… I should have had her with me”
25:36 “I felt this full body smile rising up… I wanted to walk out like ‘I’m good’ … I was full of love”
27:30 “What is it about women that they're so scared to tell men these things… what is it about men that women don’t want to tell them these things”
28:16 “I felt guilty and wrong and bad for having had this abortion, and so I made this vow ‘I wil make my life amazing because I sacrificed this baby’ and then life is really hard… I am not a movie star… it doesn’t have to be a sacrificial vow”
31:05 2nd abortion journey
32:01 “I was living from the framework of self-abandonment”
32:33 I knew I didn’t want to have the baby again; I had made a vow to never have sex with a guy whose baby I didn’t want to have”
Excuse my dog dreaming….
33:43 “I could feel this baby holding on”
Planned Parenthood had waiting list
34:30 “It was two women giving me this ultrasound; it felt cold and impersonal and very clinical… I don’t want to do this here”
38:08 I want men to feel honored to be allowed access… I felt like for years they put a hex on me
38:41 “I don’t regret either of these abortion, I only regret some of what happened and some of that self-abandonment”
41:07 “There was this huge waking up moment that I had”
41:48 “I feel like these babies we a part of my awakening”
42:00 “The truth really resides in total paradox- I love you and no… there is beauty in death”
42:40 “The rules… they trap us on either side of the truth”
Is abortion murder?
44:08 “Life loves us… we are children of the cosmos… you can’t take that away from us”
46:16 “Healing is messy and it’s not linear… it bring you home to yourself slowly overtime”
48:17 “I believe that we choose certain experiences when we come in as a soul for a level of evolution that lasts beyond this lifetime”... “the pain is worse so the healing goes further”
Man’s search for meaning- Viktor Frankl “What is life asking of me”
We can choose to take back our power
I have no choice in this “choice” situation- we’re taught disempowerment by the patriarchy…
53:22 “I am rabidly pro-abortion”
54:20 “Maybe we can just have a moment back and forth”
54:42 “They say you can’t change the past- yeah you can; you can go back and have a new experience with it”
How can I be ready to practice owning my choice elsewhere?
56:22 “you can heal more than you ever thought possible; it’s not just about getting over it… it’s about coming to a new understanding… how do you be who you really are?”
Your true self has been buried. Dig her out!
@maiawilde720
Dirt Road Less Traveled podcast
