Self-Care After Abortion

This week’s guest is Dr. Orlena Kerek. She’s health and weight loss coach, with a background in pediatrics. who specializes in working with moms. Our conversation about self-care scratches the surface of a very big and important topic for all women. Learn more about her at her website: https://www.drorlena.com/

In every episode I read a blog post I’ve written and we follow up with a conversation about the topic at hand and what it means for women and their ability to thrive after abortion. Happy listening and as always feel free to send me your reflections and questions at the PodBlog page on my website.

This week's guest is Dr. Orlena Kerek. She's health and weight loss coach, with a background in pediatrics. who specializes in working with moms. Our conversation about self-care scratches the surface of a very big and important topic for all women.

The post:

We live in a world where self-care is sold to us in bubble baths, pedicures, and scented candles, and it’s perfectly ok if your self-care includes these resources, but self-care is so much more. 

Self care is speaking your truth, following your passions, living purposefully, quieting your mind, believing in yourself… I could go on for pages with all the avenues of self-care I believe we, especially women, are looking and longing for, but let me step back for a moment into my own abortion. 

I lit candles, held crystals, and watched Netflix in the hours my abortion became a reality, but the self-care that made the most difference for me was in my mind. There are a list of things I chose to believe before, during, and after my abortion that were more nurturing than any comfort food, flowers, or back rubs that could have been provided. 

I want to share some of those with you right now, and in no particular order:

• What I want matters.

• There is no right decision. 

• No matter what there will be hard feelings to process.

• Nothing has gone wrong.

• I can do hard things.

• I don’t need to be loved and accepted by others; I need to be loved and accepted by myself. 

• This is the time to have my own back.

• I can be gentle and kind to myself. 

• I can choose with whom and how to share my story.I am worthy of receiving the love that surrounds me.

• I can be an example of what’s possible.

These thoughts created feelings in me. Feelings of comfort, peace, calm, and hope… and from my feelings were born actions like:

• Stepping away from large groups

• Following my dreams

• Questioning my beliefs

• Choosing who to spend my time with

• Breathing

• Resting

• Shifting my perspective

• Receiving

Self-care starts in the mind. It’s an inner game and it’s the place where the head and the heart connect; the place where they shake hands and embrace each other. Self-care is honoring the calling of the soul with the action of the brain. Without taking the time to choose what I wanted to believe about myself and my abortion I would have been swept down a rabbit hole of old stories, other people’s beliefs, and dark days of confusion and overwhelm.

One of my very favorite things about self-care is it’s ripple effect. When one person chooses to take care of what she needs, everyone is rewarded with her courage. Every woman who nurtures her own soul is gifting a little more freedom and breathing room to the people around her. 

Whether your abortion is scheduled for next week, or is a piece of your past, there are a few important questions I want to encourage you to ask yourself. One of my favorite self-care tools is journaling, but you can reflect on these questions in whatever way feels right for you:
What do I want to believe about myself?What do I want to believe about my abortion?What do I want to believe about my future?

And if you are feeling stuck along the way, remember that what’s mine is also yours. I invite you to borrow some or all of my beliefs. I share them here with you because we have more in common than we do apart. We are here to learn from and with each other, and that includes a whole lot of sharing. 

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If you are one of the 1 in 4 women who have had an abortion in your lifetime,
and you are not thriving the way you desire: