Healthy Relationships After Abortion
Episode 1 of Master Coach Week
Maggie Reyes is a Life Coach and Modern Marriage Mentor who specializes in helping driven, ambitious women create the marriages of their dreams. Her innovative, playful and practical approach to love and marriage takes the principles of cognitive psychology and luxury hospitality service and uses them to teach her clients the most effective ways to break destructive patterns and develop the mindsets and habits that make relationships thrive. She is the author of the best-selling "Questions for Couples Journal" and the host of the Top 100 "The Marriage Life Coach Podcast." If you want to learn how to stop doing the things that poison the love in a relationship and start doing the things that make love stronger, you can find the tools to start becoming your best loving self at MaggieReyes.com.
Show Notes:
2:26 There’s lots of things that interrupt our relationships and our marriages in a way that’s like, “Who are we and what’s next?”
3:39 Maggie’s introduction
13:57 “The wedding industry is a multi billion dollar industry… then there was marriage counselling for when you are in crisis, and there was literally nothing in the middle”
14:52 “What about all of us who are in the middle and we just don’t want to mess it up?”
16:50 “although I’ve never had an abortion I have felt loss in my life, we have that in common”
18:25 “What does ‘right’ feel like?”
18:58 “What’s next for me?... asking that question until I found a plausible answer?”
20:16 “It’s about the feeling of rightness”
20:18 Making abortion mean something… turn it into something
20:47 “If we look for the big shiny meaning, that’s a recipe for disaster”
21:54 Abortion made us stronger but I was very aware in the process that this could break us
23:25 “let’s be clear, sometimes what we perceive as the easy card” might be our assumption
24:39 “Understanding does not equal love… but even Oprah can be wrong”
25:09 “We have been conditioned to believe that understanding and love are equal, and the moment we are able to understand that understanding and love are not equal, we can go straight to love”
25:43 “You don’t have to understand them to love them”
27:31 For them to love me they do not need to understand me- he doesn’t have to understand this; this is mine
28:21 “... let him do it, just because he loves me”
29:00 Book- The Way Men Heal, women tend to heal through talking, men tend to heal through action
31:09 Exploring feelings of: He made me. I did it for him. The choice was not mine, and now I regret it.
31:52 “Look for other places in your life where it looks like the choices are being made for you.”
33:45 “You did make that choice for reasons that made sense at the moment you made the choice”
34:11 “Critical not to make make ourselves the villain”
34:37 “That choice has helped bring you to this moment… if you find no other meaning from that choice than simply that it invited you to question the rest of your choices that alone will bring significant value…”
35:05 Easier to blame him and make him the villain than to question the villain in you
34:24 Models podcast- Self Coaching After Abortion
34:44 “Cultivate compassion for the choice itself, then turn that compassion to yourself as a human and to him as a human”
36:25 “If it’s his fault then there’s nothing you can do about it, you have no power”
36:42 “If I own the choice then I can own my next choice”
37:10 Team vs Alliance- Cultivate team because an alliance isn’t always in it together
43:12 Self-trust “having peace around the decision that you made”
44:04 “I like to think about trust as a muscle that we build”
44:48 “You can feel better, there is an answer”
46:42 Maggie’s podcast episode on Self-Trust
