Abortion Stories- "I know my body; I know myself."
This week’s guest is Nicole Hagstrom. She and her partner knew they didn’t want children, but that didn’t make the abortion journey easy. It was filled with many emotions and lots of beautiful growth.
Show Notes:
1:03 How nicole stumbled into my abortion support work
2:00 We make up stories in our head, it’s one of the keys to finding a good life
3:00 Telabortion, AidAccess ways to have abortions at home
4:17 Nicole shares her story: never wanted children, using the fertility awareness method, pregnancy denial in the early days
7:42 “Told myself- everything’s okay, it’s gonna be okay”
8:03 “Fear of not just disappointing yourself but also disappointing your partner”
9:54 Sharing your story means a little less stigma for the next person panicking with a handful of positive pregnancy tests
10:51 “It’s not really fair that this is something that is so easily accessible for me, but for so many other women this is impossible”
11:48 The way we increase access is to normalize it
13:33 “Fortunate to have a partner that has always believed in me, even before I believed in myself”
14:04 “I think it’s created a space where it’s easier for us to have these hard conversations”
14:30 “It’s easier to communicate our feelings right now”
15:40 “What I didn’t take into consideration is how I would feel mentally and physically” (moody, harsh, signs of postpartum depression)
17:29 “Vulnerability is so hard and challenging, but I think it’s also so empowering and attractive”
19:06 I had asked, “How do we shape young men like your partner?” Nicole shares her thoughts about him being raised by a single mom, “Takes a man that is open to having difficult conversations, and allowing the woman the space to be herself, and speak her mind, and to let her make that decision”
21:39 Talking about whether or not children we in the future 4-5 months into their relationship
22:14 “When your on the pill you think- well that will never happen to me”
23:43 All birth control has a failure rate
24:24 I’m a good person, I still believe in myself after my abortion
25:27 Fertility awareness podcast Episode 24
27:37 Abortion set up at home after planned parenthood care
29:11 I can do hard things and I can do them alone
30:07 “I wasn’t sure what I needed to hear, but everything I heard, it helped me accept what it was and that everything was going to be ok, and that there was nothing wrong with my decision.”
30:46 Seeing the screen, taking home the ultrasound picture after abortion
33:59 “...more curious, more passionate about abortion in general and creating a space where women can openly talk”
34:30 How can we empower women who know they don’t want children?
35:14 “Society tells us that we are here to conceive and raise a family, and that’s never been what I wanted”
36:21 “Since I am an introvert I take to writing a lot, so I don’t have all these thoughts floating around in my head”
38:06 “Not for me”... should we make a tee?
29:29 Nicole asks me “Do you ever receive hate mail and how do you work through that?
41:21 Mothering Magazine submission
44:09 My advice for anyone who wants to speak more publicly
